I've been watching American politics - fascinated.
The clear hatred people have for other people who are very similar to themselves except for the colour of their scarves, is the most depressing aspect of their news. Sadly, I am seeing bits of the same thing in New Zealand politics. Has it always been like that?
The difference in my experience (I may be wrong - it may be that that now I have retired I have the time to absorb more political debate), is that the debate has moved from issues to people.
Today's gospel lays out very clear guidelines. Peter asks how often we need to forgive each other - and Jesus says that we need to forgive each other every time - for as long as it takes! (Matthew 18)
There are two ways to look at life, at creation, at political decision-making - at everything: Peter wants a ruling that justifies his separation from others - Jesus tells him that he can never be separate.
Peter seems to be angling for a "reasonable" number of forgivenesses - maybe after three forgivenesses you have done what God requires and you can go back to resentment and hatred.
Jesus' final word on the issue sums up the reason: each of us must "forgive each brother and sister from our heart". We are either wholehearted - or we are going through the motions in our head.
"Wholehearted". What a great word. We either live and love with our whole heart - or we judge with our head. Of course, we all judge, but we must then remember that we are all brothers and sisters.
People, creation, and our individual selves are all part of the body of Christ. That is the big picture.
We see it when we are wholehearted - but when we are judging and condemning and hating our hearts are not involved: all that is in our minds, evolved and honed by fear and survival.
Today is also the Feast of St Clare of Assisi - the companion of St Francis.
When we think of these great saints we remember that even the sun and moon are our brothers and sisters: we need more love and huge hearts to over-ride the judgement and hate from small minds.
Now I just need the politicians to read this. We ordinary people are moving forward - our leaders need to catch up!
Wednesday 10 August 2016
Thursday 7 July 2016
Our culture of love and peace
News report Friday 1 July
- When the worn-out net lies in a heap, the new net goes fishing.
The old ways are not working for our children: our country needs a new way to do things.
"Around 66,000 children are at family violence incidents attended by police each year.
Many of those children will not receive counselling or other support, despite the long-term problems witnessing such violence and distress is known to cause.
Starting today, a new family violence pilot in Christchurch will handle police referrals, and focus on all family members - perpetrators and victims, including children who may not be physically abused.
The roughly 175 reports of family violence each week in the city will be responded to by an inter-agency team, operating seven days a week."
Sometimes we read of family violence and feel helpless, because there seems nothing we can do to stop it. "It doesn't happen in my family." "I can't do anything." "It's too big a problem" - and it happens in the dark where people don't see.
Sometimes a teacher will feel helpless because a student is being hurt at home, and there is nothing a school can do to stop it. "Doesn't happen in my school." "And I'm just a teacher."
But as a society we are each responsible. Each act of violence affects each of us on a psychic level, as well as emotionally, intellectually - and physically. And yet, in our society, there are still voices speaking against laws that prevent adults hitting children. That was a great place to start.
But only a start: now we need to deal with poverty and the angers and frustrations that go with that, drugs and alcohol, ending generational anger and changing expectations. All do-able - but all involving change for each one of us. Are we brave enough? Christian enough? Do we care enough about child witnesses and victims to give up a little, to make a few changes in our comfort levels?
It is my problem. Each one of us is affected by each act of violence, by the damage being done, by the less personal and friendly country, by the anger that family violence generates - in the victims and in the people who hurt others.
I was a teacher. I was trained to teach English to children who had spoken English very effectively for ten years. I was not trained to teach them how to think, or feel, or love, or parent. So who does that? Do we leave that entirely to parents - most of whom do it really well. The problem is that any who fail have a huge impact on all of us.
Sometimes now I think we should forget about teaching our rangatahi (our young people) how to count and speak and dissect - until after they have learned to use the tools God gave them to think and feel and control themselves.
To use those tools to become more self-aware and to control their minds so they are able to not build up feelings like anger and lust and resentment, but come to recognise what is happening at the start, and step back.
Each of us needs to own and value a way of living where we recognise and control destructive thoughts about betrayal or threat or insult while they are still seeds, how to deal with them so they do not grow - or grow to be acts of love - (because so often they are about people we love). Too often we water and feed the seeds of such weeds rather than digging them up and composting them.
This has been Maori Language Week, so I'd like to finish with a whakatauki. The word rangatahi has two meanings. It means "the young generation" but it also means a "short fishing net". That leads to deeper considerations of the proverb:
Sometimes a teacher will feel helpless because a student is being hurt at home, and there is nothing a school can do to stop it. "Doesn't happen in my school." "And I'm just a teacher."
But as a society we are each responsible. Each act of violence affects each of us on a psychic level, as well as emotionally, intellectually - and physically. And yet, in our society, there are still voices speaking against laws that prevent adults hitting children. That was a great place to start.
But only a start: now we need to deal with poverty and the angers and frustrations that go with that, drugs and alcohol, ending generational anger and changing expectations. All do-able - but all involving change for each one of us. Are we brave enough? Christian enough? Do we care enough about child witnesses and victims to give up a little, to make a few changes in our comfort levels?
It is my problem. Each one of us is affected by each act of violence, by the damage being done, by the less personal and friendly country, by the anger that family violence generates - in the victims and in the people who hurt others.
I was a teacher. I was trained to teach English to children who had spoken English very effectively for ten years. I was not trained to teach them how to think, or feel, or love, or parent. So who does that? Do we leave that entirely to parents - most of whom do it really well. The problem is that any who fail have a huge impact on all of us.
Sometimes now I think we should forget about teaching our rangatahi (our young people) how to count and speak and dissect - until after they have learned to use the tools God gave them to think and feel and control themselves.
To use those tools to become more self-aware and to control their minds so they are able to not build up feelings like anger and lust and resentment, but come to recognise what is happening at the start, and step back.
Each of us needs to own and value a way of living where we recognise and control destructive thoughts about betrayal or threat or insult while they are still seeds, how to deal with them so they do not grow - or grow to be acts of love - (because so often they are about people we love). Too often we water and feed the seeds of such weeds rather than digging them up and composting them.
This has been Maori Language Week, so I'd like to finish with a whakatauki. The word rangatahi has two meanings. It means "the young generation" but it also means a "short fishing net". That leads to deeper considerations of the proverb:
Ka pū te ruha, ka hao te rangatahi.
The old ways are not working for our children: our country needs a new way to do things.
Saturday 25 June 2016
Glimpse: Independence
Mostly the little girl ran free and decided where the pair would go, but the old man became anxious when her way led to concrete steps - steps designed for bigger people - wide steps with hand rails only at the sides.
The old man had trained the little girl to hold his hand when they were walking along a road or in a car park or close to streams - and until that day the little girl had seen steep concrete steps as a place to hold his hand.
Not that day.
- Hold my hand.
- No.
- You've got to hold hands if you want to climb the steps.
So she did. Clasping her hands in front of her, she turned to the old man.
- I hold my own hand.
Wednesday 15 June 2016
Glimpse: Running
She runs to the leaves. She runs through them, scattering auburn oak leaves, feet disappearing in their depth, diving into windblown heap, swimming in leaves - body-surfing.
She runs to the soccer centre circle, stepping onto the line and following it, running round, to jump into Grandad coming from the other direction.
Once is not enough - turn, and run the line to the end of the circle. "Again." "Again."
She runs to the Azalea garden, and runs, following random paths - sheer joy in choosing forks: "This way".
She runs to the steps down to the stream, down to the ducks, throwing bread from the bridge. Most of the bread - also wolfing slices to re-fuel - then throwing another slice up-stream and rushing to the other side to see it washed down under the bridge. Pooh sticks! And ducks! So much fun!
"Again Grandad."
Out of bread, she runs up the hill to the old staff club (empty in the morning), up to try the door, explore the deck, the ramp, the steps, the smokers' seats. "Don't touch that. Dirty."
Off to the trees. Hiding. "Is she there, behind this one? No. This one? Where's she gone?" Peeping out from the next tree, but not there when the old man gets there!
Off she goes, tree to tree, heading for the road. "Hold my hand when we are by the road. Ready for home?" Grandad is! So they turn back.
Then they walk past a gate back into the park: she's off again. Back to the centre circle. And again. Back to the Azalea garden. Finally back on the footpath holding hands.
Walking now.
Stop to watch a tyre being changed. Exhausted suddenly after two hours of running, she lies down on the footpath. Sprawled on the path. Worn out by too much life, unable to get up.
"Ready to go?" Nothing.
"Let's go and tell Mum about the ducks." Nothing.
"Can I carry you?" Arms reach up, and she is swung up onto Grandad's shoulders. That's better - grabs Grandad's ears (!) and off they go. Home.
Tuesday 14 June 2016
Re-learning our prayers
Most of us have a mental resource of memorised prayers.
People involved in church-going - and those of us brought up in church-going homes but no longer joining a parish on a weekly basis - still have prayers, often learnt back in our childhood.
For many people these prayers are very deeply buried and only come to the surface in times of crisis.
Usually those prayers were learned at an earlier age - a period in our lives when our understanding of life, and our relationship with our God, were less mature.
As I have come to a better understanding, I have re-written some of my old prayers so they stay meaningful to me. Several years ago I re-wrote my favourite Act of Contrition - a prayer I had absorbed from the Stations of the Cross liturgy of my childhood. It is one of my normal memorised prayers. My version is
Oh God, I love you with my whole heart and above all things
And with all my heart I am sorry
for the times I have tried to live without you in my life.
May I never miss the mark again.
May I love you without ceasing,
and make it my delight to do in all things your most holy will.
There are only two significant changes from the version I learnt 60 (!) years ago - but they have made the prayer something I want to say every day.
First: I have come to understand that, for me, there is only one thing that I (and I think, most people) need to apologise to God for: all the little things we have tried to do with our own strength, for our own purpose, aiming at our own good. That is why I say I am sorry for the times I have tried to live without you in my life.
I know there are evil people (although not as many as the media would have us believe). But nearly always when most of us get it wrong in life, it is because we have not allowed God into our hearts - or into our decision making process. Only then are we capable of selfishness and arrogant disregard for the needs of others.
But I have also come to see that when I get it wrong on my own, it is just about always because of my own fears or resentments. These two emotions can cause me to attack others, hurt others, manipulate others. These emotions can lead me into alienating others, objectifying others (treating them like objects rather than as fellow-creations of our God), and marginalising others (pushing them away from me and the warmth and comfort here at the centre, into the cold insecurity and poverty on the margins).
Fear is why I ignore the lilies of the field, and accumulate wealth and worry about safety, and why I struggle to build security.
We live in a world where fear and resentment elect unethical politicians, and where even ethic leaders bow to the groundswell created by fear and resentment as they generate our public policies.
That is what happens when I try to live without God in my life.
It NEVER happens when we allow God to be active in our lives - it never happens for individuals when they do it - and does not happen for countries when they do it.
The second change in my childhood prayer is changing the translation for the word "sin". In an earlier post I looked at the origin and meaning of that word "sin". I said that "sin" is a word that separates a lot of people from organised religion.
In translation from Hebrew and Aramaic into Greek and then Latin the original meaning for the idea was lost. The original meaning was a metaphor from archery and means "to miss the mark". We all miss the mark all the time (nearly always because we have stopped being aware of God in our lives).
So in the prayer I use today I have been explicit about that meaning.
In my version of the prayer I have deliberately kept the focus on "my heart" and I have kept the ending. The ending is what initially drew me to the prayer - that sense of euphoria and delight when we KNOW that we on the right path, the sense of satisfaction when our arrow thuds into the mark. That's what happens when we live with God in our lives.
May I love you without ceasing,
and make it my delight
to do in all things your most holy will.
People involved in church-going - and those of us brought up in church-going homes but no longer joining a parish on a weekly basis - still have prayers, often learnt back in our childhood.
For many people these prayers are very deeply buried and only come to the surface in times of crisis.
Usually those prayers were learned at an earlier age - a period in our lives when our understanding of life, and our relationship with our God, were less mature.
As I have come to a better understanding, I have re-written some of my old prayers so they stay meaningful to me. Several years ago I re-wrote my favourite Act of Contrition - a prayer I had absorbed from the Stations of the Cross liturgy of my childhood. It is one of my normal memorised prayers. My version is
Oh God, I love you with my whole heart and above all things
And with all my heart I am sorry
for the times I have tried to live without you in my life.
May I never miss the mark again.
May I love you without ceasing,
and make it my delight to do in all things your most holy will.
There are only two significant changes from the version I learnt 60 (!) years ago - but they have made the prayer something I want to say every day.
First: I have come to understand that, for me, there is only one thing that I (and I think, most people) need to apologise to God for: all the little things we have tried to do with our own strength, for our own purpose, aiming at our own good. That is why I say I am sorry for the times I have tried to live without you in my life.
I know there are evil people (although not as many as the media would have us believe). But nearly always when most of us get it wrong in life, it is because we have not allowed God into our hearts - or into our decision making process. Only then are we capable of selfishness and arrogant disregard for the needs of others.
But I have also come to see that when I get it wrong on my own, it is just about always because of my own fears or resentments. These two emotions can cause me to attack others, hurt others, manipulate others. These emotions can lead me into alienating others, objectifying others (treating them like objects rather than as fellow-creations of our God), and marginalising others (pushing them away from me and the warmth and comfort here at the centre, into the cold insecurity and poverty on the margins).
Fear is why I ignore the lilies of the field, and accumulate wealth and worry about safety, and why I struggle to build security.
We live in a world where fear and resentment elect unethical politicians, and where even ethic leaders bow to the groundswell created by fear and resentment as they generate our public policies.
That is what happens when I try to live without God in my life.
It NEVER happens when we allow God to be active in our lives - it never happens for individuals when they do it - and does not happen for countries when they do it.
The second change in my childhood prayer is changing the translation for the word "sin". In an earlier post I looked at the origin and meaning of that word "sin". I said that "sin" is a word that separates a lot of people from organised religion.
In translation from Hebrew and Aramaic into Greek and then Latin the original meaning for the idea was lost. The original meaning was a metaphor from archery and means "to miss the mark". We all miss the mark all the time (nearly always because we have stopped being aware of God in our lives).
So in the prayer I use today I have been explicit about that meaning.
In my version of the prayer I have deliberately kept the focus on "my heart" and I have kept the ending. The ending is what initially drew me to the prayer - that sense of euphoria and delight when we KNOW that we on the right path, the sense of satisfaction when our arrow thuds into the mark. That's what happens when we live with God in our lives.
May I love you without ceasing,
and make it my delight
to do in all things your most holy will.
Thursday 17 March 2016
Lenten Meditations
If anyone is still looking for my weekly blog, I have been using my energy to write a daily reflection on the readings from each day's Mass in my Meditations blog.
Today: We are at our best when at peace; at our worst when angry and afraid. My meditation on today’s readings http://meditations-insights.blogspot.co.nz/
Why not join us for Holy Week?
Today: We are at our best when at peace; at our worst when angry and afraid. My meditation on today’s readings http://meditations-insights.blogspot.co.nz/
Why not join us for Holy Week?
Sunday 28 February 2016
Reaching out to God (on my own)
I am sometimes asked how I meditate - or how to get better at it. I met someone who gave up "because I wasn't very good at it".
No-one is very good at it (except maybe professional monks and nuns or people who have been practicing for 20 years). And maybe they aren't very good at it either - but have come to realise that is part of being human, and accept that.
So I thought I would outline a little of my experience, and jot down one or two things I have found help me.
I have been meditating serious (daily) for about five years. I started with The Way of the Pilgrim - an anonymous booklet outlining the experiences of a Russian lay pilgrim learning to "pray continually" in the nineteenth century. The pilgrim develops a method of meditation as he walks - something quite similar to the Catholic meditation of the Rosary.
I am quite an analytical person and I then started researching other forms of meditation - particularly Catholic mediation used by contemplative orders, and came to Fr Thomas Merton's New Seeds of Contemplation.
Merton was very interesting for all sorts of reasons, but in the 1960s he spent a lot of time looking at Eastern meditation - and one of his final insights was that we already have all we need in our tradition. Very reassuring. He is well worth reading if you are interested. Here is one of his prayers, something I have found very helpful.
I have two minds: one is most obvious in moments of love, or tenderness, or of beauty.
The other is the mind that has evolved during 40 million years of survival. This second mind dominates our lives because it is so active (it has to be to help us survive). This second mind fears the danger in everything, especially the unknown. It is the mind that replays moments of conflict during our day to work out how to win next time.
It trusts nothing or no-one: everything could hurt us.
Obviously any prayer life or meditation practice aims to get us into the first mind - and find ways to quieten our evolutionary mind. My friend who "wasn't very good" at meditation and gave up, missed this point. None of us are good at meditation - especially at first, because our evolutionary mind is always trying to interrupt! I suspect sometimes that it is at war with my spiritual mind!
Anyone seriously working at a strong prayer life or at mediation, has to start by acknowledging this situation.
What do I do to get past the frantic worries and distractions of my evolved mind?
One of them is the interruptions and distractions of our minds. But there are other obstacles too: we are self-reliant and don't think we should rely on some unseen God. Our survival minds are afraid of danger and enemies that must be dealt with before anything else.
Our pride is a real obstacle - I can do anything I need to do! It seems weak to rely on God. Sometimes we don't like to bother God with something not urgent.
And we are not sure how to speak to this unseen, unheard God. I speak - but I hear no reply. My defensive mind whispers that people are right when they say there is no God and I am making a fool of myself!
But I believe our God is waiting for us, and in a moment when I reach out in faith God will reach back, touch me, change me. Our Father is waiting. And, like Thomas Merton, I believe that the desire to please God does in fact please God.
PS Don't forget that you are welcome to join me on my prayer pilgrimage to Easter - for the remaining 23 days, or just when you can: http://meditations-insights.blogspot.co.nz/
No-one is very good at it (except maybe professional monks and nuns or people who have been practicing for 20 years). And maybe they aren't very good at it either - but have come to realise that is part of being human, and accept that.
So I thought I would outline a little of my experience, and jot down one or two things I have found help me.
I have been meditating serious (daily) for about five years. I started with The Way of the Pilgrim - an anonymous booklet outlining the experiences of a Russian lay pilgrim learning to "pray continually" in the nineteenth century. The pilgrim develops a method of meditation as he walks - something quite similar to the Catholic meditation of the Rosary.
I am quite an analytical person and I then started researching other forms of meditation - particularly Catholic mediation used by contemplative orders, and came to Fr Thomas Merton's New Seeds of Contemplation.
Merton was very interesting for all sorts of reasons, but in the 1960s he spent a lot of time looking at Eastern meditation - and one of his final insights was that we already have all we need in our tradition. Very reassuring. He is well worth reading if you are interested. Here is one of his prayers, something I have found very helpful.
My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always, though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.About 18 months ago, inspired by Merton's simplicity and honesty, I started regular meditation in the morning (and continued the "Jesus Prayer" of The Way of the Pilgrim at night). One of my first blogs outlined an early insight for me. I realised that we are two people and have two minds.
I have two minds: one is most obvious in moments of love, or tenderness, or of beauty.
The other is the mind that has evolved during 40 million years of survival. This second mind dominates our lives because it is so active (it has to be to help us survive). This second mind fears the danger in everything, especially the unknown. It is the mind that replays moments of conflict during our day to work out how to win next time.
It trusts nothing or no-one: everything could hurt us.
Obviously any prayer life or meditation practice aims to get us into the first mind - and find ways to quieten our evolutionary mind. My friend who "wasn't very good" at meditation and gave up, missed this point. None of us are good at meditation - especially at first, because our evolutionary mind is always trying to interrupt! I suspect sometimes that it is at war with my spiritual mind!
Anyone seriously working at a strong prayer life or at mediation, has to start by acknowledging this situation.
What do I do to get past the frantic worries and distractions of my evolved mind?
- The first step is to accept it, and accept that it will never go away
- I often start with a short reading to get me started and provide stimulus
- It is really helpful to remember that God will do the work - not us. But we do need to provide the invitation - and put ourselves in the situation of quiet and peace and without interruption.
- No-one begins good at this. My active mind keeps interrupting. That's normal.
- I notice.
- I push the thought or feeling aside without buying into it, and continue. Over time I have got much better at this.
- I find it helpful to develop routines around my meditation:
- I try to pray at the same time every morning and evening for 15 minutes (using the countdown clock on my phone)
- I use the same chair - sit up straight, eyes closed, feet on the floor, slow deep breathing
- I ask God for help. God made us with free will, and honours that if we do not open the door.
- I try to pray without words or images - my goal is to clear space in my mind for God. So I find it helpful to have a word to come back to every time my active mind distracts me. LOVE is a favourite - but sometimes my reading suggests a word.
- I do the breathing I suggest in the two minds blog - concentrating on breathing in and out. Once my mind has slowed to the breathing, I try to empty my mind. I try to observe the emptiness of my mind. Over time I have got much better at this.
- I accept that my first five minutes will be unproductive: it takes that long (at least) to slow down my active mind.
One of them is the interruptions and distractions of our minds. But there are other obstacles too: we are self-reliant and don't think we should rely on some unseen God. Our survival minds are afraid of danger and enemies that must be dealt with before anything else.
Our pride is a real obstacle - I can do anything I need to do! It seems weak to rely on God. Sometimes we don't like to bother God with something not urgent.
And we are not sure how to speak to this unseen, unheard God. I speak - but I hear no reply. My defensive mind whispers that people are right when they say there is no God and I am making a fool of myself!
But I believe our God is waiting for us, and in a moment when I reach out in faith God will reach back, touch me, change me. Our Father is waiting. And, like Thomas Merton, I believe that the desire to please God does in fact please God.
PS Don't forget that you are welcome to join me on my prayer pilgrimage to Easter - for the remaining 23 days, or just when you can: http://meditations-insights.blogspot.co.nz/
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)