"Around 66,000 children are at family violence incidents attended by police each year.
Many of those children will not receive counselling or other support, despite the long-term problems witnessing such violence and distress is known to cause.
Starting today, a new family violence pilot in Christchurch will handle police referrals, and focus on all family members - perpetrators and victims, including children who may not be physically abused.
The roughly 175 reports of family violence each week in the city will be responded to by an inter-agency team, operating seven days a week."
Sometimes we read of family violence and feel helpless, because there seems nothing we can do to stop it. "It doesn't happen in my family." "I can't do anything." "It's too big a problem" - and it happens in the dark where people don't see.
Sometimes a teacher will feel helpless because a student is being hurt at home, and there is nothing a school can do to stop it. "Doesn't happen in my school." "And I'm just a teacher."
But as a society we are each responsible. Each act of violence affects each of us on a psychic level, as well as emotionally, intellectually - and physically. And yet, in our society, there are still voices speaking against laws that prevent adults hitting children. That was a great place to start.
But only a start: now we need to deal with poverty and the angers and frustrations that go with that, drugs and alcohol, ending generational anger and changing expectations. All do-able - but all involving change for each one of us. Are we brave enough? Christian enough? Do we care enough about child witnesses and victims to give up a little, to make a few changes in our comfort levels?
It is my problem. Each one of us is affected by each act of violence, by the damage being done, by the less personal and friendly country, by the anger that family violence generates - in the victims and in the people who hurt others.
I was a teacher. I was trained to teach English to children who had spoken English very effectively for ten years. I was not trained to teach them how to think, or feel, or love, or parent. So who does that? Do we leave that entirely to parents - most of whom do it really well. The problem is that any who fail have a huge impact on all of us.
Sometimes now I think we should forget about teaching our rangatahi (our young people) how to count and speak and dissect - until after they have learned to use the tools God gave them to think and feel and control themselves.
To use those tools to become more self-aware and to control their minds so they are able to not build up feelings like anger and lust and resentment, but come to recognise what is happening at the start, and step back.
Each of us needs to own and value a way of living where we recognise and control destructive thoughts about betrayal or threat or insult while they are still seeds, how to deal with them so they do not grow - or grow to be acts of love - (because so often they are about people we love). Too often we water and feed the seeds of such weeds rather than digging them up and composting them.
This has been Maori Language Week, so I'd like to finish with a whakatauki. The word rangatahi has two meanings. It means "the young generation" but it also means a "short fishing net". That leads to deeper considerations of the proverb:
Sometimes a teacher will feel helpless because a student is being hurt at home, and there is nothing a school can do to stop it. "Doesn't happen in my school." "And I'm just a teacher."
But as a society we are each responsible. Each act of violence affects each of us on a psychic level, as well as emotionally, intellectually - and physically. And yet, in our society, there are still voices speaking against laws that prevent adults hitting children. That was a great place to start.
But only a start: now we need to deal with poverty and the angers and frustrations that go with that, drugs and alcohol, ending generational anger and changing expectations. All do-able - but all involving change for each one of us. Are we brave enough? Christian enough? Do we care enough about child witnesses and victims to give up a little, to make a few changes in our comfort levels?
It is my problem. Each one of us is affected by each act of violence, by the damage being done, by the less personal and friendly country, by the anger that family violence generates - in the victims and in the people who hurt others.
I was a teacher. I was trained to teach English to children who had spoken English very effectively for ten years. I was not trained to teach them how to think, or feel, or love, or parent. So who does that? Do we leave that entirely to parents - most of whom do it really well. The problem is that any who fail have a huge impact on all of us.
Sometimes now I think we should forget about teaching our rangatahi (our young people) how to count and speak and dissect - until after they have learned to use the tools God gave them to think and feel and control themselves.
To use those tools to become more self-aware and to control their minds so they are able to not build up feelings like anger and lust and resentment, but come to recognise what is happening at the start, and step back.
Each of us needs to own and value a way of living where we recognise and control destructive thoughts about betrayal or threat or insult while they are still seeds, how to deal with them so they do not grow - or grow to be acts of love - (because so often they are about people we love). Too often we water and feed the seeds of such weeds rather than digging them up and composting them.
This has been Maori Language Week, so I'd like to finish with a whakatauki. The word rangatahi has two meanings. It means "the young generation" but it also means a "short fishing net". That leads to deeper considerations of the proverb:
Ka pū te ruha, ka hao te rangatahi.
The old ways are not working for our children: our country needs a new way to do things.
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