Watch your thoughts

Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.
― Mahatma Gandhi

This quote from one of the most influential thinkers of the twentieth century contains ideas that we all need to consider. And Gandhi was not all that original - a quick search on Google gives similar ideas in Paul's letter to Titus, Eleanor Roosevelt, Proverbs, Soren Kierkegaard, Marcus Aurelius among others. 

It is obviously part of shared human wisdom, but because it relates to things very close to who we are and how we live, most of us find it too hard.

Each idea on its own can be examined and most of us would probably understand it and agree (at least to some extent). However, the six steps as a whole paint a picture that is too big, too significant, or too hard - or maybe seems to tell us that our destiny is out of our hands, so why bother?

We are all immersed in a set of assumptions and beliefs from our parents, our society, and media that comment on every aspect of our lives. 

I think most of us listen to, read, and watch media that we like and agree with. We become annoyed by media that challenges our assumptions and beliefs. Our often unexamined beliefs do become our thoughts.

We say those things, often assuming that others have the same thoughts and beliefs. (Often they do, especially if they were brought up in the same culture and society.)

Our actions usually reflect our beliefs. We despise hypocrites who say one thing but do another - so acting on our conscience is a good thing. (The Church would say that we must act on our "informed" and challenged conscience - and we often forget that step!)

As we get older our actions do fall into patterns (mostly comfortable patterns) we can think of as habits of action, to go along with our (mostly comfortable) habits of thinking. 

We really believe in what we are doing - that hypocrisy thing again - but again we face the challenge of the "informed" conscience. How often do we truly examine and deliberately inform what we think, believe, and value? I find that I assume those things are right, so don't need to be further informed!

Over the last few years I have written often about meditation. Some readers who have followed my development in newsletters and now in these blogs may have wondered - or thought of it as one of John's eccentricities. However, working with generation after generation of young people (while steadily getting older yourself), forces educators to challenge their own assumptions.

Young people are always changing, doing things differently - not better or worse - just differently. My assumptions and answers had to be based on understanding and empathy - and going through that process forced me to see that my old thoughts, beliefs and assumptions were attempting to drive my actions. I even had to challenge my values to ensure they were not, in fact, prejudices! They sometimes were.

Our journey to becoming the people we were created to be - people created by God, not media - is a long one. We are surrounded by very human assumptions - but we need to examine them and choose the right ones. 

One of the hardest things we must examine are our thoughts. These are so influenced by our unexamined assumptions and beliefs, the messages of the world, the media, our perceived self-interest, and by our society and upbringing. This is a VERY difficult task. Meditation provides a series of techniques to become aware of our thoughts and control them.

The alternative is to let them control us. That rarely has a happy outcome.

When I retired from teaching I wrote in my blog of the time that I had things to do for my own salvation - and over the last few weeks I have had the time to reflect on my destiny - my values and actions, my thoughts and beliefs. I have come to see that I have a long way to go!

We are each on an individual journey where we choose our own paths. We are supported by our families and people we love, and by the church communities we choose - but in the end we are born one at a time, live our own lives, and return to God one at a time. We cannot sleepwalk to the fullness of God; we won't get there as the fulfilled person God imagined if we just walk everyone else's well-trodden path.

If life is about becoming the people we were created to be - if it is about salvation - if our destiny is indeed God - then we must find time and take responsibility for guarding our thoughts and assumptions. That is where the journey begins - and that is where all the obstacles on the path are to be found!

Proverbs 4, 23-27
Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it.
Keep your mouth free of perversity;
keep corrupt talk far from your lips.
Let your eyes look straight ahead;
fix your gaze directly before you.
Give careful thought to the paths for your feet
and be steadfast in all your ways.
Do not turn to the right or the left;
keep your foot from evil.

Bless you!

When my children were little I often came home from a meeting or an event after they were in bed and asleep. I always crept into their rooms, put my hand gently on their heads, and blessed them.

Parents and grandparents often do this.

As a teacher I often said "God bless you" when someone did something helpful for me. 

I also said "Good on you" a lot - not the kiwi goodonya - but three distinct words praying for good for the person. The kiwi greeting kia ora is another way of praying good on a person: it means "be well" or "be healthy" in an holistic sense: "I pray that you are well in your body, your mind, your spirit, and in your relationships."

In Lumen Gentium Paul VI and the Second Vatican Council tried to clarify and renew the role of the people in the Church. 

The term laity is here understood to mean all the faithful except those in holy orders and those in the state of religious life specially approved by the Church. These faithful are by baptism made one body with Christ and are constituted among the People of God; they are in their own way made sharers in the priestly, prophetical, and kingly functions of Christ; and they carry out for their own part the mission of the whole Christian people in the Church and in the world.

These words were an important part of my upbringing in the Church. Whenever I said anything hinting at criticism of the Church, I was met with the quick reply "But you are the Church".

And I am!

I am created by God in the image of God.

I am part of the "one body with Christ", one of the "People of God".

I am a sharer in the "priestly, prophetical and kingly functions of Christ".

And I have a duty to pass that on - to share that blessing around. It is important that we can finish letters and conversations with "God bless you", take a lead in blessing the food we eat, and acknowledge God's presence in those we have contact with.

Parents seem to know that instinctively. 

We bestow sacraments and graces on our children almost automatically. We wash them clean - sometimes with total immersion - and sometimes with just a quick wipe!

We forgive them and restore them to the full love of the family when they make mistakes. We heal them with a kiss or a quick rub or a heartfelt hug when they are hurt.

We feed them and help them grow with love and healthy food and drink. 

We are quick to confirm our love, and their place in the family community. 

Our children are part of our marriage - they were when the two became a trinity - and they are when they come crawling into our beds on stormy nights, when they are frightened, or when they feel unwell.

And we bless them, and others in our lives - a really important part of our humanity as we share the priestly, prophetical, and kingly functions of Christ.

Controlling your left brain

If we want to have any control of our constant left-brain resentments and angers, our mental movies and replays, we need to develop skills and confidence through regular practice. Last week I mentioned some of the methods I use, and I have been asked to explain what I do to quieten my left brain and leave room for grace.

I try to fit in at least one 20 minute slot each day - but my choice depends on where I am and how tired I am. For instance if it is 2am and I am trying to get to sleep I use the Jesus prayer - and I use the beads by my bed to give my fingers something to do (I find the physical involvement helps my concentration). 

Here are four simple methods I use - and you can also use - to develop skill in turning your left brain down when you need to for your own peace of mind (literally), or to develop a better relationship with our Creator. And they are just techniques: they work when my faith is strong - but they also work when I doubt or am feeling negative.

I. 

The Jesus prayer (or you could use the rosary, or any repeated brief prayer). 

I first came across the Jesus prayer in J. D. Salinger's Franny and Zooey (about two kids of a talented but eccentric Catholic family) when I was at St Bede's in the 60's! 

The Jesus prayer is a repeated brief prayer that allows us to deaden our left brain and be open to God. An anonymous Russian Orthodox pilgrim from the nineteenth century uses and explores the prayer in The Way of a Pilgrim. 

The pilgrim's inner journey begins when he becomes obsessed with the words of Paul (I Thessalonians 5:17) to "pray without ceasing." He visits churches and monasteries to try and understand how to follow this clear instruction.

His travels lead him to a starets (a spiritual teacher) who teaches him the Jesus prayer - "Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me" - to be repeated all day(!) as the pilgrim walked, until it became part of him and echoed his heartbeat. I have adapted the words to fit my personal experience of Jesus.

2.

Focus on my breathing ... so I can clearly see when my left brain sends in resentments, jealousies, mind movies, re-runs of my day. See "We have two minds" - from an earlier post. 

3.

Centering prayer. 

This form of prayer requires a quiet place (best to be the same place each day). Begin by asking God's help - and then concentrate on your focus word. You need to deliberately empty your mind, and then insert a simple focus word such as "God" or "Love". As left brain thoughts come (and they will!) gently note them, then gently push them away and return to your chosen word.

4.

Use this line from Psalm 46: "Be still and know that I am God". Begin by breaking down this line - and then stay with "Be" for five minutes (or up to 20 minutes). As left brain thoughts come (and they will!) gently note them, then gently push them away and return to just "being" with God - and God "being" with me.

Be still and know that I am God
Be still and know that I am
Be still and know
Be still
Be

There are other ways professional meditators (in the Catholic tradition this includes religious orders such as Trappists and Carmelites) calm their left brains using techniques such as chant and silence. But the four above are simple, and they seem to work for people with complex and demanding lives, and without the support network of a monastery. People like us.

Why bother?

That's the big question. I believe that we are each created deliberately by God - but we are placed in a busy world full of distractions, and we each need to work out ways to find our selves, our purpose, and our relationship with our Creator. These techniques take less than 20 minutes a day, and they work.

Routine

A few weeks ago I retired and in just that small time I have learned a lot about the power of routine.

I have learnt that I need to develop a new daily routine - and if I don't do that, I will drift through days, accomplish very little, and frustrate myself.

I have quite deliberately given up all my old routines, but not yet developed new ones. My body clock no longer gets me up at 5.40 every morning, but because I am now waking when my body has had enough sleep I am awaking at different times. That means my start-up routines are non-existent. 

One routine I have lost over the last month is morning prayer. 

Some years ago I became very interested in the Orthodox Church as an organisation which has held onto more early Christian practices than other Churches. There are things that happen in their liturgies for instance, that I really like. 

One of the things that distinguishes the Orthodox Church is formalised routine prayer for lay people. I picked up that practice, developed it for myself, and still formally pray twice a day.  It is not the Catholic Divine Office, but I can see common ancestry.

Well, I did pray twice a day - but when we lose our routine we lose the regularity in all sorts of things.

And it is important. We are surrounded by influences that tell us we are primarily individuals living in a material world, that MY individual happiness, wealth, security, style and presumptions are really important, and definitely far more important than anyone else's - that I am an island - and that only the things we can see and touch exist.

I do not believe any of that - but everything around me keeps telling me I am wrong. If I am not careful I find myself drifting into grudges, resentments, worries about appearances and comfort, and a primary concern for personal financial security.

One way to keep my feet on the ground is to maintain regular contact with God and the spiritual world, and there are many ways to do that. Three that I use are daily reading, meditation, and morning and evening prayer. Other people use daily Mass, rosary, or social justice and other support groups. 

When I led St Peter's College and Garin College I was regularly told we were very "lucky" as a school. Good things happened for us. That was true and I always agreed when people said that. 

But I smiled too. "Luck" implies that life is random and there is no way to predict what will happen. That just isn't true. Good things happen far more often when people pray for them - and in both schools I know that individuals and small groups of people regularly prayed for the students and staff. I certainly did.

So, as I move into the next phase of my life, I am working to establish new routines. And one that is more important than others is my slot for morning prayer - if only to keep myself truly aware of the presence of God within me, and God's creation all around me.

The mother of Jesus

On Saturday the Catholic Church in New Zealand celebrates the feast day of its patron saint and national day for New Zealand on the great Feast of Mary, the Assumption. Depending on your point of view, that choice of patron was courageously myopic or inspired. The early Church held Mary in very high esteem - but since the Reformation Catholics have often overstated her role or downplayed it, and many do not "get" the Assumption.

Mary was important during Jesus' life, and after his death Mary became even more a touchstone. It was a crazy time: the ruthless Roman authorities found the Christians challenging, and the Jewish leaders found their intensity and refusal to compromise difficult. On top of that, everyone was trying to make sense of what had just happened. Paul was soon speaking authoritatively - but often in seeming contradiction to the understanding of those who had known Jesus. 

People like us were trying to understand the bits of the teachings we might have heard in the light of things we had previously believed - and there was no established church to explain it all or pull it all together.

In that environment there were two solid teachers everyone trusted: James the Just, bishop of Jerusalem and the first leader of the Christians - recorded as the brother of Jesus - and Mary. Sadly for us, both were people-people and pray-ers, rather than writers, and we have just one sermon from James recorded as his letter - and nothing from Mary. But there are many many surviving references to show the high esteem in which they both were held.

Mary's body seems to have disappeared after her death and a tradition grew up that as the one woman in all history chosen to carry the little boy we now know as the Christ, she was such a holy person that God lifted her body to heaven.

We know so little of Mary. 

We know she enjoyed "God's favour". She accepted God's call. She was "full of grace", "blessed", and "the Lord was with" her. Mary was a woman of deep prayer: proclaiming the greatness of God from her "soul" and rejoicing in her "spirit". She is the model of humility. She was there (standing silently) in the difficult times. We can't be sure of much else. 

Perhaps we see her values in the actions of her son: his care for women (particularly those on the margins - indeed all those on the margins), his gentleness, perhaps his anger at hypocrisy and double standards and people treating others badly, his passion for God (and maybe his anger when God was taken for granted or minimised).

Probably because we know so little, many people see in Mary what they want to see. 

• She is the model for contemplatives who need to empty themselves to be able fill themselves with God. 
• Feminist Christians see her strengths and independence.
• Mothers pray for her intercession (she is the one who said "My child, why have you done this to us?" the cry of every loving parent who has been let down). 
• For many religious orders she is the model for their vows of poverty, chastity and obedience.
• The only saint I can remember invoking as a teacher was Mary - when I had to tell classmates that one of our students had died. I remember the words I used: "let us ask Mary for her prayer and support - if anyone knew the pain of a child dying, it was Mary." I then led them in the Hail Mary.

So the Church in New Zealand chose Mary as our patron, and this particular Marian feast, as our national day. Why? 

For me it is because we too seek God's favour: we are blessed with wonderful people and a land where the Creator's hand is so apparent - we are brimming over with potential! 

As well, we are a humble people. 

We are often stunning when it comes to supporting people in need. We are idealistic, peace-makers and peace-keepers. 

I believe that although we are not a "religious" people, kiwis are a spirit-filled people - idealists constantly searching for beauty and peace and goodness. 

As a people (like all peoples) we fail too often - but Mary's perseverance in the face of difficulties should be a constant reminder that being there, standing solidly with those in pain, refusing to buy into the conventional self-serving values of the world around us is always important - and may be the only thing we can do. 

Finally, the choice of this feast was also a conscious act of hope for our people: after our earthly life, we look to a next life. As the prayer for the feast says: "All-powerful and ever-living God: you raised the sinless Virgin Mary, mother of your Son, body and soul, to the glory of heaven. May we see heaven as our final goal and come to share her glory."

My prayer is that we may each see heaven as our final goal and come to share her glory.

The next step on the journey

Philosophers and psychologists and dramatists have enjoyed breaking our lives down into neat phases or stages - each with a set of characteristics - and each with a major goal we need to accomplish before we can move on successfully.

Certainly when I look back at my life I can see 

• pre-school, at home mostly with my mother, 
• childhood, 
• adolescence, 
• searching for purpose and vocation in young adulthood, 
• maturity, as I focused on the paths to becoming the person I was created to be. (I think maturity started for me the day Suellen and I brought our first child home from the maternity hospital in Ashburton and I realised this tiny boy's life was in my hands!) 
• personal mastery (where I became a very good teacher), 
• contribution (where I learnt to lead other teachers, and learnt to build the sort of community I believed in).

I don't believe that my next stage is "second childishness and mere oblivion" as one of Shakespeare's more cynical characters would have it - but whatever it might be, I am at that stage and beginning to explore it.

I have been very moved by - and grateful for - the many very generous words from parents and teachers and students this week after I announced my need to move on from Garin College. I am really sad to be leaving your wonderfully talented and caring students, your very involved and talented teachers, and you: the most supportive and positive group of parents I have worked with. 

The positivity that characterises our school is something very special, maybe a consequence of the fact that we have been responsible together for creating a new school and have had the opportunity to create the sort of school we really want.

The blessing for me is that parents, students and staff have bought into a vision of a school created to live the values of Jesus: a community school based on love and acceptance, and growth. 

Together we have created and fostered a school that believes that God did, in fact, create each one of us - and that each one of us is therefore unique, with a purpose no-one else has, and gifted to fulfil that purpose (even if we sometimes struggle to recognise our many gifts).

Of course we all lose confidence in that at times, and allow the world to tell us that we are ordinary. But like a great parish, the Garin community remains positive and idealistic and connected, and draws each of us back to the birthright of each member of our God's creation: love, the fullness of life - and the right and responsibility to add our unique contribution to the development of this community, our wider community, and even the whole of creation. 

If each of us leaves our world a slightly better place, we will have fulfilled our purpose - and not one of us knows all the effect of our ripples. That is for God to plan and judge. We just need to acknowledge our right and duty to make the best ripples we can!

So, as I leave leadership at Garin College, I am not leaving our community. I still expect (and am expected) to contribute. I will continue adding to this blog (without the weekly reminder in the newsletter), but I am definitely moving past the need or passion to be a formal leader and hands-on builder. 

I have things I need to do for my own salvation - and so, my happiness. I don't intend to keep those secret and personal: they will be chronicled in these blogs for anyone who cares to read them.

Aren't people wonderful?

Last night I was in the audience for the show-piece concert of our arts festival: Te Wairua o nga Mahi Toi, the Spirit of Creation in the Arts. And once again I was forcefully reminded of the wonderful gifts our students and teachers have been given.

When I think about it, I realise that I should not be surprised. I say often enough that God made us, and that God does not make junk: each one of us is wonderfully gifted. That makes me realise that every school in the country - every school in the world - has an equivalent range of talents available. If the students are given (and take) the opportunity to show them.

So not only was I proud of our students and teachers as I sat there; I was also proud to be a leader in an organisation that sets out to discover and display the gifts God has given each of us. Not every school is able to do that as well.

In some cases, schools focus on bringing out other talents. In some schools the focus is more narrow - on academic success, for instance. The nice thing about the excellence we saw at the concert is that these students are able to have their cake - and eat it! They are able to shine in performance - but their NCEA results also shine!

Earlier this week I was able to use the gifts of our students for something else entirely. Sadly, we had a couple of incidents of students bringing alcohol to school (and just a warning: they usually bring it from home). On the other hand, I was very proud of the way junior and senior students supported a student who had become very ill as a consequence.

To make sure everyone got the message about the risks, we asked a Drugs and Alcohol counsellor to talk to seniors about the dangers of alcohol, and I asked a group of our year 13s to talk to year 9 and 10. And they were great. 

I went to the junior assembly, and their message was not to bring alcohol to school, and that there is no point in protecting your friends and keeping them from getting into trouble if they are seriously damaging themselves. 

A growling at home or a suspension at school are nothing compared to drowning in vomit! Teacher and Ambulance Officer Kylie Beckers then showed students how to put someone into the recovery position if they might vomit. The message was forceful without being emotive or over the top.

The gifts on display that day were responsibility, communication, and compassionate leadership. And it was just great to see our seniors accepting the responsibility without any hesitation. This week I have had reaffirmed that the future of our school and our community is in good hands - the hands of gifted and responsible young adults ready to make their mark in the adult world.